Dear Lois,

You may not remember me, but I remember you. You see, my mother, was a single-mother and you hired her in the most difficult of times. She had just undergone a nasty divorce and was trying desperately to raise two little girls.

Hard stuff.

You ran an enterprising business and hired her as a receptionist. But, you saw her true potential. You motivated, trained, and inspired my mother to be something better. And, in doing so, you have impacted the woman I am today. The manager I am today. Yes, even the mother I am today.

You see, every time my mom came home from work frustrated (quite often), I would eavesdrop on phone conversations you would have with her (I was quite the nosey child). Suddenly, her demeanor would brighten up, she'd be more optimistic, and that sprinkled down to me, her daughter.

On days when I came to work with my mother, I'd watch as you calmly, eloquently, directed the show. It was like watching a conductor of an orchestra, graceful, precise, and filled with passion. You floated around the office with such poise and refinement, it was hard for me not to be mesmerized by you.

When Christmas would come around, I always received gifts from you. I told you once that I wanted to be a writer, I was probably seven at the time, and every Christmas thereafter I received beautiful books from you, as if you gave an approving nod to my dreams.  I often wondered why you cared so much for our family.

Our little family of three.

I guess what I'm trying to say is... Thank You. In an era when working mothers were starting to emerge, you always gave my mother the grace to be both an employee and a mother. Never asking for her to choose, never asking for her to prioritize, never asking for anything more than she could give. She was paid extraordinarily well and she provided a fantastic living for our family. Being your apprentice was one of the greatest opportunities you gave her, but I'm sure you didn't realize you had two apprentices at your feet, for I learned from you as well.

I cannot say I am the boss you were. I can only aspire to be such a woman. A woman who cares about the employee and the family, a woman who cares about the business and the person, a woman who cares about the dreams of others, a woman who inspires, uplifts, and begs to be learned from.

Thank you for being the first female boss I ever encountered. You showed me that I could do anything with my life, even run a multi-million dollar company (which, by the way, I ended up doing). And more often than not, I'd say to myself "What would Lois do in this situation?"

Thank you, Lois. For the woman you have always been and for the woman you helped shape me into.


Letter to a Female Boss: Dear Lois

March 29, 2015




I always swore I’d never be a working mom.  Nope. Not me. I was going to be the “perfect” mother. Cookies would promptly be awaiting my children after school, homework would be completed with my help, my home would be immaculate, and I’d be the homeroom mother for every class my child participated in. I’d be in perfect shape, because I’d have plenty of free time to go to the gym and work on my body. My marriage would be the envy of everyone, and we’d take vacations every year, to Hawaii, mind you, and life was to be pure bliss.

Then I had children, and everything changed.

Ugh. Life. It never happens the way we plan. Right?

As I type this post, I’m sitting on a pile of laundry that needs to be washed, or at least I think it needs to be washed. I’m not sure anymore. I’m staring at a messy bedroom, a half eaten bag of Doritos (so much for eating healthy), a stack of bills with the bright words “overdue” rudely stamped on the front, a plant that is dying, two stinky dogs that are begging for attention (or a bath), a cell phone that is blowing up with requests from my children and co-workers, and, a belly that is begging for some breakfast at 10:07 am. Oh yes, and I need to get in the shower and get to work.

Work and Motherhood. Two words that compliment each other in so many ways, but why does it have to be so difficult. It’s like trying to squeeze into my old jeans; at one time they fit me, now I can’t even get them past my calves.  I know I should donate them but I keep telling myself, “One day…”—ha!

That’s what life is like as a working mother. We often allude to the dream of “One day” we will have things under control.  One day I will make it to work without bananas smeared on the side of my leg by the baby.  One day I will work an entire day without an interruption from the school principal.  One day I will conquer that closet filled with chaos.

One day…

The truth is, the One Day saga is a myth. It’s as elusive as the Loch Ness Monster and as unrealistic as me ever fitting into skinny jeans. No, seriously.

As a working mother we need to stop the daydreaming of a better day. If you are a working mother, then you’ve fantasized about it, I know because I’ve done it every day for the past twenty years. But, the real truth is, every day you need to get up and do your best.

That’s it. No one is looking for perfection. The world isn’t coming to a halt because you didn’t get your carpets cleaned. The police aren’t waiting to arrest you because you picked up McDonald’s for dinner (for the second time in a week) and if you feel like sitting on your bum watching reruns of Friends after work, then, do it.

Yes, you have priorities and goals…I got it. Yes, you have a boss who has expectations—ugh. Yes, you’ve got co-workers who annoy you and a neighbor who is a royal pain in the derrière. Blah, Blah, Blah.  But, that’s not what I’m talking about in this post. Today, I simply want to tell you to follow the wisdom of the Disney movie, Frozen and “Let it go” (Sorry if you are on Frozen overload like the other 99% of the world, but it was a perfect reference).

Today, remind yourself that you are a mother. You are filled with love. And, for whatever reason, either by choice or necessity, you go to a job every day to provide for your family.

Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a big **Clap**. 

Because being a working mama is hard stuff. 

But, you can do it. Even if it takes a Hershey's bar at the end of the day or a large glass of wine. 

You've got this down.





The Working Mother's Mirage of "One Day..."

March 26, 2015

Almost done with my design for the blog. Until then, you'll be forced to watch my blog change every few days...but, hopefully, it will be worth it. If you'd like to submit an article or story for me to cover, please send it to: themoonlightmom@gmail.com


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