A few years ago, a conversation with a friend changed my life. She'd just been fired from her job of over two decades, yet she seemed filled with peace.
"Wow. You sure are handling this really good," I said.
"You should've seen me a few days ago," She answered. "I was a wreck."
"What changed?" I asked.
"I learned long ago to live by a rule I've given myself when hard times come knocking. I give myself one day to be mad, one day to be sad, and then I move on," She said. "It's worked for me."
It was such great advice. I wrote it down in my journal for when I would need such pearls of wisdom. Ironically, it wasn't but a week later that I actually implemented her advice. I found only one flaw in her thinking--it needed two more additions. So, with a few modifications and some word play, I created the perfect motto for troubled times: be mad, be sad, be forgiving, be glad.
I added the "Be Glad" portion because I needed a reminder to welcome joy back into my life after going through a difficult time. Happy is a state of mind and I wanted a reminder to embrace its presence in my life.
Now when a difficult situation presents itself to me, I'm armed with this lovely motto to help me find my way back. I've found utilizing this motto gives me the freedom to feel the real emotions behind the pain, creating a breeding ground for authenticity. If I'm mad, I'm mad. If I'm sad, I'm sad.
But, with a gentle nudge I am also reminded to leave the land of martyrdom and self pity and move to higher ground. Forgiveness. Not an easy thing to do, especially in one day. And, honestly, sometimes it's just me sitting in my car saying aloud, "I forgive you (fill in the blank)."
And, then, like getting into your blankets after a long day, I welcome gladness and joy back into my life.
Best advice I've ever received (with my small additions, of course).
Be Mad.
Be Sad.
Be Forgiving.
Be Glad.
-carol stuart
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