12 Things Working Moms Wish their Children Knew

Each day we leave our children (that's you) for the work place. Receptionist, lawyer, cashier, dental assistant, baker, judge, teacher; we all share a common bond in motherhood. We each find our thoughts migrating in the same direction--you--our children. And, it's this commonality that unites us in the following thoughts we wish we could tell you.

1. I think about you all day. 

Yeah, you probably already guessed this one, but I'm not sure you understand the extent. When a song comes on the radio that reminds me of you, our heart pitter-patters. We smile. We miss you. If someone brings in double-chocolate expresso brownies (your favorite), we snag an extra one in a napkin for you. When a toddler (or teenager) walks by the conference room, a million memories of you flood our mind. You are on our mind all day.

2. We worry about you all day. 

A siren just went by two minutes ago and I swear I looked out the window to see if it was you. We worry. Daily. About you. If we don't hear back from you when we text you (or call), we get worried, and trust me, our mind goes to the deepest end of the ocean. You've obviously been abducted by aliens, kidnapped by a traveling circus, or something much more dire; answer us, please.

3. We wish we were with you. 

Even us hard-core working women wish we were with our children. We do. Even if we enjoy our job and it's a dream come true, our mind drifts often to you and wonders what it would be like to just sit down and watch Sponge Bob and shove strawberry cupcakes in our mouths.

4. We are heartbroken when we miss a school activity. 

I can't tell you the sadness that permeates the heart of a mother when she misses an important part of her child's life. We are devastated. We want to support you and show that we believe in you, but sometimes, whether we like it or not, work calls us to duty. Fill us in on the details we missed, we don't care how lame or simple they may seem to you, to us Working Mothers, we eat it up faster than a pint of ice cream.

5. We want to trust you. 

It doesn't matter how old you are, we want to be able to trust you are making good choices while we are not with you. So, please, make life easy on us and think twice before you decide to jump off of the roof into the swimming pool, drag race in your '98 Honda, or remove the screws from your teachers desk.

6. We want you to be successful. 

At school, work, with friends, whatever it may be, we want the best for you. We can't always be there to help you with your homework, but we hope you realize your true potential for greatness. We search online for colleges for you, cars, new outfits; whatever it takes to help you succeed. We dream of your greatness.

7. We like to share our day with you.

Telling you stories about work, whether they are sad or funny, is a gift we are giving back to you. We want to share our day with you and we hope (fingers crossed) that you will share your day with us. Honestly, we only care about your day. Share with us. We love it.

8. We worry about bills (and other adult responsibilities). 

Ugh...sorry...but it's true. We worry about these things all day, but not because we want to be on top of the world, but because we want the provide for you. We want to make sure you have clothes to wear, food to eat, and maybe a few extra bucks for a movie on the weekend. It's on our minds all the time, but only because we don't want you to go without.

9. We worry about our job(s). 

The boss yelled at us. A co-worker caused a scene. A long standing client left. The business isn't doing as good as it should be. We worry about the safety of our jobs. Even if we are at the top of our game or even the CEO, we worry. Yes, our pride is on the line, but more importantly, it's about you. We want to be a good role model for you as you embark on your own journey.

10. We just need a hug.

A long, heartfelt hug from you after a long day at work is better than any amount of money (or chocolate). It's true. This simple act is long lasting. I need the moment to connect with you. The embrace may seem silly to you, but boy does it mean the world to me. It can actually change my sanity status from overwhelmed to peace.

11. We love surprises. 

A clean kitchen, a washed car, good grades, grooming the dog; all of these make us happy. We love positive surprises, especially from you. There is nothing better than a happy surprise at the end of a long day, no matter how small it may seem to you, it is big to us.

12. We need to be reassured. 

I know it's our job to kiss your boo-boo's, hold you through a breakup, and tell you everything is going to be okay when you don't make the soccer team, but, sometimes we need the same thing. We need to know it's all okay. However it's expressed, we appreciate it.

12 Things Working Moms Wish their Children Knew

April 22, 2015

5 Lessons I Learned from a 7 year-old

Children are often our teachers, if you will let them be. Amidst a busy, chaotic day at work yesterday, I met such a teacher. A majestic guru in the embodiment of a seven-year-old girl I'll call Ana. Oh, you couldn't tell upon first glance. Messy hair, crooked smile, missing teeth, freckled face, skinned up knees, and paint stained hands. But, I learned more from her in sixty minutes than I have from the past few self-help books I've read.

It's Okay to be Honest about your emotions.

Ana was honest about her emotions from the minute I called her name from the waiting room. "I'm scared"; "I don't want to be here"; "I hate dentist offices"; "I'm scared this is going to hurt". As we walked down the corridor to the consultation room she slipped her little fingers through mine and held my hand. Her vulnerability hung on her like a warm blanket, it was intriguing. She held nothing back. She let me know exactly how she felt and why. Her honesty was so refreshing, so candid, so unbelievably unadult-like, that I stood in wonder of it. Ana taught me it's okay to express your honest emotions without hysterics. She was scared, she wanted to be anywhere but there, but she expressed it eloquently and calmly. I admired her.

It's Okay to be Silly.

I'm good with children and I chose a profession that allows me to work with them daily. But, I've never met anyone who laughed so easily as Ana. Everything I said was met with a deep, belly laugh. Sure, I can be funny, but this girl really made me think I had a good shot at being a stand up comedian. Every story I told her she'd giggle until her face turned red. At one point during the conversation she said, "Oh, you're silly, Carol." Her one comment made the one million worries on my adult mind disappear. Silliness. A concept I hadn't considered since I was, well, seven-years-old. She continued to be "silly" for the entire exam, often making faces, and bursting out with outrageous (but funny) comments. The world would be a better place if adults learned to be more silly.

It's Okay to ask Questions.

Ana was like a question machine. Everything I did or said, she wanted to know the "why" behind it. It wasn't irritating or annoying in any way, she's just learning about the world around her. It fascinated me. She would look me straight in the eyes and ask, "How come we are doing this?" I'd explain the reason and she accepted it. Sometimes she'd ask for further explanation, but overall she was mesmerized with the world in which she lives. Every instrument I brought out, every x-ray I took, and every story I told her peeked her curiosity in such an enviable manner. She taught me it's okay to ask questions about the world around me. 

It's Okay to Share.

Ana shared her own stories with me. Her school yard nemesis, the battlefield for the hula-hoops during recess, the boring substitute teacher, her best-friend who is mad at her for talking to her boyfriend, and her parents insistence on keeping her bed made when, "It's only going to get messy again tonight." Her openness about her life and problems captivated my attention. She shared endless stories, so much so, I fell behind on the schedule. But, it was worth it because Ana taught me it's okay to share your life with others. Opening up about life is cathartic for the soul and more people would be better for it. I know I was better after hearing about Ana's life. 

It's Okay to Wonder.

Honestly, I felt like a magician at times in the presence of Ana. I told her we had a slushy machine and they were free to patients. I might as well have told her she'd won a million dollars, she started screaming and twisting her hands in excitement for her chance to get her spoils from the appointment. When her tummy growled, I offered her a free granola bar and some juice we have on stock for afternoon appointments and she gave me the same wide-eyed look and exclaimed, "What is this place? Disneyland?!" Wonder. Gratitude. Excitement. Ana had all of these qualities. You know, the kind we, as adults, seem to have forgotten with each passing year. When was the last time you got excited over a granola bar? 

If children are the real teachers of the world, then I am one blessed woman to work with them on a daily basis. Looking back on my experience with Ana, I realized she had a zeal and uninhibited way in which she lived her life. We all should strive to be so lucky. Live life. Love it. Wow. Thanks, Ana for teaching us all. 

5 Lessons I Learned from a 7 year-old

April 16, 2015

How Lemon Seeds Changed My Life

You've heard the saying, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" but I've kind of grown weary of that premise while dealing with my own dysfunctional, stuck-in-the-mud season of life. We've all had crappy seasons in our lives. You know the kind. Laying in bed, tear-streaked face, possibly eating Ben and Jerry's ice cream and pumping your fist to the heavens wondering, "Why me?"

I can't give you the answer to the Why but I can give you How I've handled this down-on-my-luck season (and, that's putting it mildly).

You see, one day, while literally trying to make fresh lemonade, the popular (aforementioned) saying popped into my head. It made me stop and think about my situation. I was literally making lemonade amidst one of the darkest seasons in my life. All of my problems felt like a heavy anvil placed squarely on my back; job loss, sickness, anxiety, insomnia, depression, IRS lien, teenager problems, husband job loss (and sickness), being sued, loss of a dear friendship, and ultimately, grief. It's not been fun, let me tell you.

But, I'm not one for wallowing in the mire. So, I picked up the lemon seeds that I had strained from the fresh lemon juice and held them in my hand. They were trash, after all. But something stopped me. The little seeds called out to me, they made me ponder a thought: "What if God has some bigger purpose for these trials than I could ever imagine? What if He wants me to do something bigger than make lemonade with the lemons life had handed me? But, what?"

Then, the answer popped into my head: "Grow a lemon tree."

And, so, I washed the little seeds and went searching online for how to grow a lemon tree out of seeds. Trust me, I've never done anything like this before.

The journey begin for the little seeds. I washed them and placed them in a small baggie, waiting for them to germinate. Boy, does that take patience. It took weeks...and weeks...and weeks to even see any progress (Did I mention I'm super impatient?). Finally, a small sprout burst forth. You'd of thought I had won a million dollars! I screamed out loud and ran to tell my husband (and anyone else who'd listen to me).

Then, I waited some more.

Then, one day, seemingly overnight, all of the seeds had sprouted from the small baggie they were inside. They looked like they were saying, "Let us out of here! We've got to grow!" So, I removed them from the safety and security of the baggie and planted them together in a small planter.

Again, I had to place them in darkness and mud. They probably got scared, and wondered what in the world is this lady doing to us? Haven't we proven we can grow and do great things? Why is she sticking us in this scary, dark, abyss.

And, then I waited again. Believing and hoping in what those little seeds could become.

Then, on a beautiful Spring day, after a few weeks of waiting, one of the seeds poked it's head out from the dirt. I swear, I could almost hear him speaking to the other seeds, "I can see the light! It's this way...hurry!"

I walked over to them and encouraged them. I talked kindly to them and I watched their progress, but other than watering them and giving them sunshine, I coudln't grow for them. They had to do that by themselves.

This is what I now have:

They are still growing, and so am I. 

Like the little seeds, I wondered why I couldn't stay in my safe, known environment, living a life that I loved. Why did I need to change or go through these trials? Wasn't I perfect where I was? I thought so. But, God had different plans for me. He placed me inside a small incubator and germinated me, just like the seeds. I had to crack, break, and ultimately discard the shell of my former life 

and become something new.

Something better. 

He see's my true potential, and though I loved life as a little seedling, truly, God saw the beautiful Lemon Tree I could become. 

How Lemon Seeds Changed My Life

April 8, 2015

BFF's for the Working Mom: 6 Ideas for Fun

Girl's Night Out is a must for me!

The life of a working mother is often made easier with chocolate, wine, and having great BFF's. It's true, having awesome friends is the key to keeping your sanity while in the line of duty.

Just tonight I spent the night with one of my BFF's talking and laughing about life, kids, dogs, bills, work and everything in between. She probably didn't realize it, but she helped anchor me back to Earth when I felt like taking an adventure to crazy-mom-land. Or maybe she did know. That's how good of a friend she is. I also received a few text messages from another BFF of pictures of her darling babies and a sweet link about having BFF's who live far away (she lives across the country). Simple stuff, but these two women helped me more than they know.

So, make time for your BFF's! Here are 6 simple ideas to help make time for these special women in your life:

1. Lunch Please 

Food! It makes everything better, right? I know it does for me. I once took a personality test in college with the not-so-wonderful results of "You will likely be overweight because your personality type likes to eat and talk with friends." And, since I'm carrying a few extra pounds (ok, 50 extra pounds), it would seem that the dear old man who devised the test was on to something. But, you know what, I don't mind so much. Try it. Schedule lunch dates with friends who you haven't seen in awhile. Take the time to play catch up over some fabulous sushi or the mom and pop BBQ place you've been dying to try. Plus, everyone has 60 minutes to put into their friendship. Hurry, call your friend, schedule that lunch date asap.

2. Girls Night Out 

Ugh...I don't mean like the movies where everyone wakes up hung over and in jail. But, a legit, girl's time--no boys. Seriously, even if you are single, dedicate a night to just fun girl talk. I have a group of friends I hang out with periodically who plan a girl's night once every other month. Typically there is wine, movies, and food involved, but more importantly, there is conversation and laughter. It's a time to kick off my shoes and talk about the silly stuff that we so often neglect while we are changing diapers, cleaning up vomit, or enduring rolled eyes from our teenagers. Schedule it and stick to it...not matter what. Make it a date you don't neglect. Plus, women in groups tends to bring a different vibe.  The mix of personalities is colorful and fun. Organize it if you must, but get moving....

3. Service Projects

Say what?! I know. Sounds crazy, right? But, I mean it. Find a charity that you and a friend (or friends) can serve on a regular basis. Volunteer at a Fun Run to hand out water or go walk rescue dogs.  Open your horizons and enjoy the euphoria from helping others, you'll be surprised how therapeutic it can be. Only one word of caution to you working mama's: be prudent with your volunteer work. As mothers we are constantly giving (let's call it 24/7 volunteer work--ha ha), so keep this suggestion to a minimum, maybe once per quarter. Don't burn yourself out, remember, this is meant to be a fun activity to do with friends, not something to add to your mile long to-do list.

4. Exercise

You knew this was coming, but since you are still reading, I'll indulge you. One of my favorite memories was training for a half marathon with one of my BFF's. It was so much fun I'm smiling even typing this. We had to train for hours together every week and as the race day drew near we were spending hours together on the weekends. It was hard work, but, boy, did we have some great conversations on those runs. And, completing the race was a huge accomplishment for me, but seeing my BFF at the finish line was the ultimate reward. This suggestion is a win-win for everyone. Go to the gym together and walk on the treadmills, push each other to try new aerobic classes (Zumba, anyone?), or be adventurous and start a new hiking trail. Have fun with this one, you won't regret it.

5. Shop til you Drop

All husbands (and bank accounts) will likely frown on this suggestions. Dave Ramsey would be shaking his head in disagreement with me on this one, but, pay no attention to the naysayers on this one. Go shopping with your friends. That's right, I just gave you permission. It's fun and it's a great release to be in the presence of good friends while you are picking out a new outfit or looking for the perfect shower curtain. I'll be honest here, most of my friends have much more money than me, so I'll accompany them on trips to find new paint for their house, curtains for their bedroom, or even a dress for an upcoming wedding. But, shopping is therapeutic with friends and it typically ends with a nice chat at a coffee house eating cupcakes. Don't make this a habit, but a once-in-a-while treat you both can enjoy.

6. Spa Days

You take care of dirty tushes, soiled laundry, and deal with the chaos of work, so now it's time to pamper yourself (with friends in tow). Call your nearest Spa and indulge in a day of luxury. Get pedicures together, tell stories over mani's and relax in the hands of a masseuse. Spa days do not need to break the bank (though you won't seem to care while you're there), so go online and look for deals on coupon sites like Groupon and Living Social.  They are always running fantastic deals. You deserve this and so does your friend(s).

So, no more excuses. Get moving, get shopping, and get pampered. Enjoy your BFF's and make sure you are cutting time out of your schedule to spend with them. I promise, where there are friends, there are happy moms.

BFF's for the Working Mom: 6 Ideas for Fun

April 4, 2015