The Working Mother's Mirage of "One Day..."

March 26, 2015




I always swore I’d never be a working mom.  Nope. Not me. I was going to be the “perfect” mother. Cookies would promptly be awaiting my children after school, homework would be completed with my help, my home would be immaculate, and I’d be the homeroom mother for every class my child participated in. I’d be in perfect shape, because I’d have plenty of free time to go to the gym and work on my body. My marriage would be the envy of everyone, and we’d take vacations every year, to Hawaii, mind you, and life was to be pure bliss.

Then I had children, and everything changed.

Ugh. Life. It never happens the way we plan. Right?

As I type this post, I’m sitting on a pile of laundry that needs to be washed, or at least I think it needs to be washed. I’m not sure anymore. I’m staring at a messy bedroom, a half eaten bag of Doritos (so much for eating healthy), a stack of bills with the bright words “overdue” rudely stamped on the front, a plant that is dying, two stinky dogs that are begging for attention (or a bath), a cell phone that is blowing up with requests from my children and co-workers, and, a belly that is begging for some breakfast at 10:07 am. Oh yes, and I need to get in the shower and get to work.

Work and Motherhood. Two words that compliment each other in so many ways, but why does it have to be so difficult. It’s like trying to squeeze into my old jeans; at one time they fit me, now I can’t even get them past my calves.  I know I should donate them but I keep telling myself, “One day…”—ha!

That’s what life is like as a working mother. We often allude to the dream of “One day” we will have things under control.  One day I will make it to work without bananas smeared on the side of my leg by the baby.  One day I will work an entire day without an interruption from the school principal.  One day I will conquer that closet filled with chaos.

One day…

The truth is, the One Day saga is a myth. It’s as elusive as the Loch Ness Monster and as unrealistic as me ever fitting into skinny jeans. No, seriously.

As a working mother we need to stop the daydreaming of a better day. If you are a working mother, then you’ve fantasized about it, I know because I’ve done it every day for the past twenty years. But, the real truth is, every day you need to get up and do your best.

That’s it. No one is looking for perfection. The world isn’t coming to a halt because you didn’t get your carpets cleaned. The police aren’t waiting to arrest you because you picked up McDonald’s for dinner (for the second time in a week) and if you feel like sitting on your bum watching reruns of Friends after work, then, do it.

Yes, you have priorities and goals…I got it. Yes, you have a boss who has expectations—ugh. Yes, you’ve got co-workers who annoy you and a neighbor who is a royal pain in the derrière. Blah, Blah, Blah.  But, that’s not what I’m talking about in this post. Today, I simply want to tell you to follow the wisdom of the Disney movie, Frozen and “Let it go” (Sorry if you are on Frozen overload like the other 99% of the world, but it was a perfect reference).

Today, remind yourself that you are a mother. You are filled with love. And, for whatever reason, either by choice or necessity, you go to a job every day to provide for your family.

Pat yourself on the back. Give yourself a big **Clap**. 

Because being a working mama is hard stuff. 

But, you can do it. Even if it takes a Hershey's bar at the end of the day or a large glass of wine. 

You've got this down.





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